A Holiday of Sorts...

So, it's 20 April. The noteworthy 4/20. And there will be some very stupid things happening today in the name of marijuana. I wonder how the animating spirit of the plant feels about all of the silliness, like this bud dressd as a Christmas tree + those t-shirts that beg cops to hassle the wearers. Anyway...

Known to Man since at least the Third Millennium BC, marijuana has been cultivated + processed for use the world over as hashish, hash oil, bhang, kief... as well as the plain ol' buds + shake so familiar to most suburban Americans.

Today would be the smart day to organize Legalization Rallies here in the US, but, of course, the people who were in charge of that prob'ly got too high to remember to organize... Oh, well. What a waste; I think that'd be the kick in the pants that the US economy could use (lots of taxable sales, lots of new employees for the companies that'd need to grow, harvest, process, market + distribute) + would put the lie to the 'gateway drug' theory (in reality, pot is a gateway drug only when sold by a drugdealer who'd much rather see customers spend all of their money + be frantic to do so, and therefore introduces said customers to cocaine, crack, meth, etc., with their higher addiction factors + health risks...).

So, do your own little part to appease + honor the spirit of marijuana today: smoke some if you gots, have a nice nature walk, do something nice for a friend (or a stranger), take a nap, listen to some amazing musicks... whatever works for you!

R.I.P. Peter Steele... it shoulda been Bobby!

Shame about Petrus T. Ratajczyk, a.k.a. Peter Steele. From that picture Igor posted, looks like rigor mortis is already setting in in some areas. Yoiks! Peter Steele, indeed! Want mustard with that? I heard that after that issue came out, one of his bandmates informed him that Playgirl mostly sells to gay guys, which got Pete a new fanbase that he wasn't really looking for, which resulted in the song "I Like Goils." Not the most open-minded guy, Pete, but, nobody's perfect. He definitely wasn't, but he never bullshitted anybody about that.

I do hate that this guy is gone (even though he’s always seemed to kind of want it, if his songs are in any way truthful, and they’ve certainly always rung that way), because I’ve been listening to him since the first Carnivore record. Carnivore was one of my favorite bands back in the day, and still are, really. To this day I can’t think of Russia without Pete’s Brooklynized “Das vidanya, mothafuckas!” going through my head, and every time Catholicism comes up I hear “Stand up straight, stomach in, shoulders back, sound off! Ang-ga-ree, Neur-o-tic Cath-o-lics!” And “Monkey wrench in my hand/ In my groin a swollen gland/ Tonight perform brain surgery/ Or some gynecology/ Clockwork Orange fast becoming/ Rampant street gangs overrunning/ After darkness waging war/ What do they keep living for? / Sex and violence!” are lyrics I remember well enough to sing in the shower. That may not speak well of my mental state, but, ‘tiz true. And who else in metal ever had a creative vocabulary enough (I had to turn off my spellcheck just to make Microsoft allow me to type some of these words) to come up with things like:

“The atom germ wars of centuries gone
Precipitate genetic mutation
Social degeneration
Creatures formed of malignant science
The children of technology
Plutonium anthropology
Who will cleanse the mess left by the past?
Who will expurgigate the sacred cytoplast?
To rid the earth of abomination
I proclaim my nomination as the...
Thermonuclear warrior!
Strands of malformed DNA strangulate our future
Chromosomal executioners
Recessive traits for life forms emerge through evolution
Facilitate cellular revolution"

or

"Jesus Hitler
Adolph Christ
Is this the second coming?
Or the fourth reich?
His mother a nun raped by a Nazi
At the end of the second great war
Gave birth to a son who would change the future
For better or worse he's not sure
I am what should never have been
The ultimate abomination
Have I returned to save the Jews
Or to destroy them?
Hear me my fellow Nazolics
Come join the neo-theofascists
Keep der race pure, practice eugenics
And swear to the holy Swazifix!
Rrrrreich und roll..."


I also liked Type O Negative quite a helluva bit, especially the fact that they never took themselves seriously. Who else would name their greatest hits album "The Least Worst Of"? Or put a commentary track on their DVD where they mock their own lyrics ("I want some chicken... I want it fried! Everything fried!") and pretend to be sobbing during parts where Pete's singing some unhappy-personal-relationship lyrics?

Even though Pete was a scary-lookin’ guy (any 6’8” NYC garbageman is going to be imposing, especially if they’re on antidepressants and were known to start songs with “This is the United States of America and you’ve got the right to hate who you want, so let’s start bustin’ heads!”), served time at Rikers and a psychiatric hospital for drug possession, and was prone to doing odd things (he signed a record contract with his own blood and semen), I know a guy who got to hang out with for quite a while after a show once, and said he was one of the nicest, friendliest people you’d ever want to meet, and very appreciative of anyone liking his bands. I was a little bummed that Pete used to be an outspoken atheist but then re-discovered Catholicism during a moment of weakness when he was in drug rehab… but, eh, like I said, nobody's perfect.

Ah well... shit happens. Last week, Bruce Roehrs, and now this. I guess it's true, Everything Dies.

Funny appearance on Jerry Springer ("I'm less miserable.")





Who's gonna tell this man he can't wear a headband?


Day Tripper, negativized...


Anyway, off to the drive-in.

Babysitter, The (B&W, 1969) A cute blonde babysitter named Candy invites her hippie friends over for a party as soon as the people who hired her leave. Not only does she never check in on the kid, I don't think they even bothered to cast the role; they just show a blanket in a crib and say it's an eight-month-old. The dad (a prosecutor and sexually-frustrated husband whose wife doesn't seem to want to spend time with him other than bridge and dinner parties) gives Candy a ride home. They stop off for tacos and she tries to seduce him, and he's so bored and lonely that it's not difficult to do. Meanwhile, some violent bikers are plotting a way to get a member of their gang off of death row. They decide to try blackmailing the prosecutor with evidence that his daughter is a lesbian, but then Candy shows up and provides them some higher octane blackmail material by making out with him in the pool, then bed. It shouldn't even work since he wasn't doing much to keep the affair a secret, taking Candy dancing in clubs and such, but he's spooked. Candy and some evil friends come up with a plan to make the blackmail problem disappear. Nudity-packed black and white Crown International drive-in fodder is better than you'd think, since it does have a plot and isn't just softcore padding, and they even take the time to do a little character-building (such as the prosecutor's discouraging efforts to avoid the affair by trying to patch things up with his wife), and occasional forays into artiness.



Best Friends (C, 1975) Richard Hatch and his ugly buddy Pat get out of the army and travel cross-country to California in a camper with their girlfriends, with plans to marry them when they get there. But Pat soon proves unable to handle that kind (or any other kind) of responsibility, and he tries to talk Hatch into running off with him to live out some Easy Rider fantasy on little Kawasakis. Hatch is in love with his girl and has a truck-driving job waiting on him, though, so he doesn't go for the idea. So, Pat tries to break Hatch up with his girlfriend so he can have him all to himself. He tells her that Hatch is a womanizer, and even tries to get her bitten by a rattlesnake, and even tries to force himself on her. Hatch has soon had enough of the psychotic Pat and things turn violent. They try to reconcile things but the situation appears destined for tragedy. Odd, junky drive-in fodder from Crown International has a lot of filler and some weird character motivations (Hatch knew Pat since childhood -- wouldn't there have been some previous hint that Pat's unbalanced? Or, did Pat's injured hand wreck his psyche?) The movie's not deep enough to really explore its own premise very much, even though the existential ending makes you think it had some ambition to be art.



Hustler Squad (C, 1976) An unorthodox army major is given a tough WWII assignment -- kill a bunch of top-rank Japanese officers when they gather at a whorehouse for some R&R. He decides that the only wa to accomplish this without making it a suicide mission is to infiltrate the whorehouse with prostitutes he's trained as killers, and have them assassinate the officials while troops invade other points on the island. He rounds up his squad anywhere he can find them - prisons, brothels - until he finds women desperate enough to take on the mission. He finds four women (none particularly stunning, though one does resemble Traci Lords a bit) and trains them; most of the training is just a lot of running, since everybody already knows how to do that and it'd be less challenge to the cast. After almost getting sidetracked, they parachute in, join the busload of prostitutes, and go to the big officer-brothel (under the guidance of a fat Japanese guy who says nothing but "okay okay okay.") One admiral is actually a nice guy, and surprisingly the other Japanese aren't depicted as evil sadists the way they usually are in these movies -- they're just goofy, playful drunks. The prostitutes are horny so they decide to do the killing after the sex, and premature ejaculation kind of makes motivation easier. One guy gets strangled by thighs, and another is electrocuted in a bathtub. The rest of the island is raided in a capgun rampage. Despite the exploitative title and plotline and being from Crown International, this film could almost get a PG, since there's hardly any nudity and the sex is sub-softcore. Basically, a cheap, junky, dismissible action flick that doesn't show up in a lot of even the skangier movie reference guides but will be hailed by critics as an innovative work of genius if Tarantino ever remakes it.

Link to radio spots and poster art.

Van Nuys Blvd. (C, 1979) A creature that's a cross between Chevy Chase and a lizard, which is called a "Bobby" (get some eyebrows, Bobby!) complains that his pretty girlfriend is naked too often (oh, it's just terribly annoying when gorgeous girls won't put their clothes on) and is always wanting to screw him (she's just a pest!). He's fed up with his small town and decides he'll never amount to anything unless he goes to Van Nuys Blvd. and drives his van up and down the street all night, which is apparently how a Bobby measures success. So he drives all the way there, awkwardly orders a "hambuhduh" (get a tongue, Bobby!) and is ambush-screwed by the waitress who brings it to him (which probably annoys him since it keeps him from driving up and down the street). Then a bunch of highschool douchebags (say, that's a good name for the sequel!) trash some cars, for humor. Ha ha, so funny! Nothing cracks me up like the potential for difficult insurance claims! And who knew watching two people simultaneously eating the same hamburger wouldn't be sexy? At all? Some goober gets picked up, fucked, and then released back into the wild by a biker chick with glitter eyeshadow. Bobby gets tossed in jail for drag-racing his van when he's caught by the notorious Officer Zass (say it aloud, it's one of the cleverest jokes in the movie), who tries to bust every Van Nuys cruiser he can trump something up on. When they get out, Bobby and his new friends (including a guy named Chooch, and a girl named Moon, who has a chooch) go to Magic Mountain, to ward off a plot from happening. They watch girls dance (put your scalp on straight, Bobby!). People make out, get drunk, and do things that I'm guessing someone thought were funny, such as falling off of things. Bobby's hairline recedes visibly during the film. Girls who run their fingers through it probably get a souvenir to take home. They race go-karts and Chooch gets purse-slapped by an old lady, because old ladies committing assault is fuh-nee, buddy! Officer Zass (say it out loud again, make the most of it!) gets handcuffed to his cop car by a girl and a biker robs him. Eventually he almost dies of exposure, and it's heee-larious! The kids play air hockey, pinball, primitive video games, volleyball, and frisbee just to kill some time running the gamut of everything you could do in the 70's besides eat hamburgers and fuck. A pig gets loose on a beach and a fat guy chases it. So funny! Some movies would stop right there and say that, alone, was enough entertainment, but not Van Nuys Blvd., the movie that cares, because it tops itself by including a scene where one of the guys gets his mouth stuck open trying to eat a too-big sandwich, and then a guy who looks just like Borat gets his thumb stuck in a bowling ball. Ha ha! Imagine such a thing happening! A girl sneaks a boy home in drag so her parents won't care if he spends the night, and her dad tries to make out with him, even kissing him on the bottom. This is perhaps the only actually humorous situation in the film. Bobby and his new girlfriend Moon plan to drag race their vans again. And, lo, they do. Crown International drive-in fodder has no plot to distract the audience from their groping, but it's not badly shot and doesn't really get boring because there's enough goofy shit happening to keep it moving, even if there's no point to any of it. Lots of bad disco music, and a really, really slaps-you-across-the-eyes-with-the-stupid-of-it stupid ending. Most of the guys in this film look like they're in the early stage of acromegaly. You could watch this movie, or you could just run around with your pants off for a while screaming "VAN NUYS!" It'd be pretty much the same experience.



The theme song is kinda catchy as horrible disco-funk goes...

Cannibal? Can YOU Ball?!?

Heard about a new recipe for Spelt Tagliatelle, included in the Australian Penguin Press cookbook The Pasta Bible, which includes sardines, prosciutto, salt and "freshly ground black people."

While I think that the new trend toward culinary experimentation are wonderful, this may be taking things a bit too far... do haveta appreciate the insistence on freshness, though, right?

Video-Movie-Film-Camera Produces Amazing Results!

As a general rule, I am not a filmgoer. The combination of crowds of unknown-to-me humans, high prices + sticky carpets is a general turnoff, along with the troublesome issue I have with being near-narcoleptic when in a darkened room with air-conditioning and a comfy chair...

I do like watching em at home, if they're of interest, though I often have to break up the watching into a coupla sessions (...remember the narcolepsy). And I just discoverd that two films are due for theatrical  release on 18 June 2010, both with some excellent source material to mine (or, possibly - sadly - ruin...). Let's hope they don't suck; they both seem to have a lot of potential...

The Killer Inside Me
Starring Casey Affleck, this won't be the first filmd version of Jim Thompson's most gripping novel, which crawls into the head of Lou Ford, a small-town sociopathic deputy sheriff in Texas. An earlier version starring Stacy Keach came out in 1976. If this is as dark as the novel, it'll be a fuckin' winnr.

The Killer Inside Me Trailer - Click here for more free videos

Plus, it also stars the ever-lovely Jessica Alba...

Stacy Keach is a baaaad man... It's been mentiond that Thompson himself did not care for this film. Maybe he'll zombie up for the premiere of the new one + let us know what he thinks. (I'm betting it'll be something like "bbbraaaaaainnnzzzzzzzzz... grrururggggghh!")

Jonah Hex
Starring Josh Brolin, this one is based on the DC character, a drifting bounty hunter with a disfiguring facial scar who roams the post-Civil War wild West. The comic was often kickass, but there was also an updating that flung Hex into the future that left a sour taste... At it's best, Jonah Hex was a powerful image+text reimagining of the Spaghetti Western genre. Hex is an antihero much like Clint Eastwood's classic Man With No Name, that character itself drawn wholecloth from Toshiro Mifune's classic ronin in Kurosawa's Yojimbo.

...and - again with the fuckin' casting - this 'un also stars the striking Megan Fox.

Maybe I'll get to the moobiehaus after all this June...

Listen (Oo Ahh Oo), Do You Wanna See a Playlist (Oo Ahh Oo)?

Another interesting stretch of musicks, giftd to me during my Saturday delivery route by the Shuffleuppagis inside my iPod. Some comments follow.

The Flaming Lips covering Shine On... is, of course, excellent, + reminds me that the physical version (the digital version came out late last year) of the 'Lips + Stardeath and White Dwarfs Dark Side of the Moon should be out anytime now. If you're into the whole "things" thing, the vinyl would definitely be a cool "thing" to have.

Circle of Wolves is typical Phantom Tolbooth, though from the later Power Toy, which is considerd a less potent distillation of the Daylight in the Quiet Zone / One-Way Conversation era PT. Don't take that to be anything other than a subtle hint to go get those earlier releases... there ain't no shitty Phantom Tollbooth rekkids!

The Curse from Bison B.C. is a solid rockr from these British Columbia-based stoner metallrs earlier album Earthbound... their new one - Dark Ages - should be available right now. Go get it!

Van Buren by Arms + Sleepers is from the 2009 split (with The American Dollar) EP From the Inland Sea. I checkt out the EP cuzza TA$, then went back + scored the earlier Matador from Arms + Sleepers. Good stuff!

...and that's my iPod RoundUp for this weekend. Hope you find something interesting to check out!

Type O-Negative + Carnivore Reunion Tours Cancelled...

So, it's official... singer-person Peter Steele has passed away at the age of 48, from what appears to be heart failure. An interesting singer with a long musickal history. Prior to Type O-Negative, Steele was rockin out with early thrash-metallers Carnivore. Sad to see another rocker pass this year...

Gather your thoughts, fans, + remember him like I will...

Nekkid in Playgirl...

Songs About Fucking Steve Albini!

So, is this gonna end up being the funniest fuckin' parody album title + cover this year? Looks that way to me, bitches...


Don't have an opinion about the Kid 606 album, aside from the spot-on cover + title, but the original Songs About Fucking is a post-punk classic from before Steve Albini was everybody's first choice for indierawk producer (which means that Spot, who did the engineering on alla them SST rekkids by Dinosaur, Jr., Sonic Youth, Husker Du, Meat Puppets, etc..., was the indie producer of the day). And what a good day it was... Sure, Albini recorded Nirvana's In Utero and some other late 80s/early 90s tasties, but Spot was behind the best of the best of the great punk/post-punk of the early- to mid-1980s, so I'll come to your haus + hammerpunch you in your goddamnd clavicle if you talk shit on Spot. Or I might just write something poopy about ya... Whatever...

Red Sparowes Live...

So, last Tuesday was the release date for the new Red Sparowes rekkid The Fear Is Excruciating, But Therein Lies the Answer. The rekkid is excellent, and is sitting comfortably right now as my favorite of '10 so far. The live show that night at the Bottletree here in Birmingham was equally super-duper...

The opening acts were:
Mr. Gnome (interesting 2pc rock; strippt down + with she-vox) - I just wasn't that into their set, prob'ly cuz I was still relatively sober...
Doomriders (way metal + tight as hell...) - the guitar-playing singer was nice at the merch table, + screamd like he was bein' skinnt while onstage. The bassist also did some solid singing + the guitar leads (sometimes twin'd out b/w both guitars) were very tasty. Their newest rekkid Darkness Come Alive (out Sept'09) was mixd + all by Kurt Ballou (of the band Converge + Godcity Studio), who also handled recording the Young Widows another waaaay heavy band that was here in Birmingham opening for some killer post-rock/post-metal bigwigs when Russian Circles came thru late last year...

and then came the main act:

Red Sparowes (fookin ruled)
bass. guitar. guitar. guitar. pedal steel guitar. keys. drums. no vox.
Amazing multimedia show, with suitably trippy filmicks washing around behind the band, who workt their musickal magicks with lots of shimmer-y delays + echoes. Aptly enough, the film playing on the screen that comes down between stage + crowd between bands was Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii (sadly soundless), setting an appropriate tone for a solid set of psychedelic musical exploration.

Check out one of their live clips (sadly, not from this show/tour; it seems to feature an earlier line-up):


Don't miss out on seeing them on this tour!

This Shit Will Make You Behave Badly: (just) some of the best of Bruce Roehrs

Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I’ve been busy stealing shtick from columnists on The Onion. Nothin’ much in the inspiration-bin this week, so I’ll just knock out a couple of things.

First, I saw Ug, The Caveman Musical this week, and it ruled! Kicker Of Elves was in it and did a bang-up job, wish ya could’ve seen it. He even got to play some guitar, way before they were even invented. Now that’s showmanship! If we’re lucky maybe he’ll blog with some backstage stories when it’s done its run (I drop hints!), ’cuz I bet a lotta funny stuff happened, given the crazy sets, almost-nekid folks, and smoke blowing around and stuff. Very cool, I’m very glad I went.

And now, some bad news. I just learned this week that a major punk-rock icon died… and I’m not talking about Malcolm McLaren, who was pretty much of a silly git who was interested in fashion way more than music. Nope, I’m talking the longest-running MaximumRockNRoll columnist Bruce Roehrs, the guy who reviewed all the (non-Nazi) skinhead music. He was my favorite columnist (and it’s tough to beat out George Tabb), and I know I mentioned (and tried to copy) his distinctive, bombastic style of reviewing here once. Bruce was hella-fun to read. Not only was the music he recommended reliably good and his descriptions of it dead-on, but his enthusiasm was infectious... so much so it was lovably hilarious.

His picture at the head of his column had him looking calm, mild, even rather kindly-looking, while the wildly-contrasting prose was a extremely funny stream of completely uninhibited, excited, profane, sometimes even threatening hyperbole about bands and music. It always reminded me a little of Herbert Kornfeld in The Onion, but serious. There was no pretention or art in his writing, really, but he still had a gift for it. Reading him, you always got the feeling he was talking directly to you, and probably holding a fistful of your shirt while he did it. He could make more of a point about music by just saying the word "Fuck!" than I can with ten paragraphs about a CD. He loved lyrics as much as I do (usually half his content was lyrics, which is actually pretty useful in album-buying from my words-oriented viewpoint). He usually started columns with “You fucking punks and skins are in luck!” and ended them with “See you fucks at the bar!” From everything I’ve read about him, he was also a helluva nice guy and a real class act.

Anyway, Bruce never failed to make me laugh, but also never steered me wrong on any album he suggested. I’m not sure what he died of (he was 59 years old, but worked as a carpenter so he was probably in pretty good shape), but it sounds like natural causes. Anyway, I’m gonna really miss reading him every month. Just as a tribute-thingie (and because it’s hilarious!) I’m going to go through some of my old MMR’s and copy a few lines out of some of his columns here, just so you can see why I liked him so much. Since Bruce understood printing lyrics to promote/ pay tribute to things he loved, I don’t think he’d mind me quoting him heavily. Hope not, anyway, ‘cuz this guy‘s record-reviewing was so fun I just gotta share it.

===============




“Fuck! You lucky fucks! 86 MENTALITY, one of the hardest of the hardcore/skin/street rock bands to grace the airwaves this decade, has released a compilation on Grave Mistake Records. … For you who are not familiar with 86 MENTALITY, this hardcore band crushes your skull the second the music starts. This music is highly recommended by Mr. Carl Cordova, renowned hardcore enthusiast. The singer, Mr. Steve Clark has one of those rough, deep, guttural vocals that fucking rips your ears off! We’re talking gargles with broken glass and whiskey here; on top of these intimidating vocals are ferocious guitar leads by Matt Moffatt. The bass thunder is provided by Eric Judycki with excellent drumming by Jason Halal, anchoring the whole sound. This is great shit!
The sound that 86 MENTALITY unleashes on you is unspeakable brutal. This is not for the weak of heart or mind -- this is not recommended for you casual warped tour dribble dicks. This is hardcore for aggressive males who like to play rough. The lyrics are equally unapologetic.

***

Side B of this excellent split EP introduces you to MARCHING ORDERS from Australia who cranks out two fucking Oi! hammers for you skins and punks. This shit is powerful chugging Oi!/street music, with lots of bile and bristles and yet the songs remain catchy and tuneful.

***

Holy shit! TKO Records from Orange County, California, USA has a raging split CD for you troublemakers! … Next up you have the KRUM BUMS here to ruin your pathetic little world. The servants of Satan lurch right in “In Sickness We Prevail” with desperate vocals and masterful guitar skills. The band sings along to punctuate the song. Song two by the KRUM BUMS is “Misery.” The evil spell these fucks operate under is thicker than ever! The goddamn vocals are those of a man possessed! The guitar player weaves an inescapable net of darkness and doom around you. Happy-go-lucky punks, you are out of luck!

***

TOMMY AND THE TERRORS polishes you off with “Avoid the Noid!” This record rocks your world and makes you think -- what a novel combination! Job well done, TOMMY AND THE TERRORS! Well done TKO Records!
Greg and THE BOILS from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania have a fistful of melodic Oi! And street punk ready for you cretins! TKA Records has released THE BOILS twenty-five song opus From The Bleachers for your holiday entertainment!

***

KYRE & DUUNARIT from Finland have got a fucking outrageous dose of dangerous rock and roll for you fucks! This perverse skinhead EP has nine socially unacceptable songs that are both melodic and threatening! Since this is sung in Finnish, American skins will have to just fucking go along with it. The gruff vocals combined with the brutal guitar/bass/drum assault will have you tapping your boot on the bar-rail. The enthusiasm is quite clear. These fuckers actually know how to play their instruments! Fucking great!

***

Fuck yes! HELLSTOMPER continues to pummel you through O.N.S. about a woman who betrayed her man, and “Mexas” about a hot love affair with a beautiful woman -- “She took me to a graveyard and stood namked in the night/ When I looked into her coal black eyes I saw the fires of hell burn bright.” Yeah! HELLSTOMPER can really turn a phrase!

***

Attention you fucks! News from the Confederacy of Scum headquarters: ANTiSEEN, BEFORE I HANG and JOE BUCK YOURSELF cut an ugly swathe across Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Arkansas and the hinterlands! With Messers. Clayton and Young at the helm, ANTiSEEN stormed across the southland, adding three new destructo rock locations to their resume. For the first time, the purveyors of the most dangerous rock ‘n’roll in the United States of America have taken their poison to the heartland of the South. … The San Antonio stop included a respectful tour of the Alamo at 3am in the morning; surprisingly the federal marshals were very accommodating of the members of ANTiSEEN when they wanted to visit the revered location at such an unusual hour.

***

Fuck Yes! DEEP SLEEP has emerged again as a force to be reckoned with! These melodic/destructo fucks are bent on turning modern music on its ear! Nothing is clear. Nothing is in sync. Nothing gels as its supposed to! This punk rock starts and stops at inappropriate times -- this makes it that more exciting! This is discordant, out of kilter punk! You need this world of shit EP!

****

Fuck! TIME TO ESCAPE! These maniacs are completely out of touch with reality! Their music is steeped in the juices of Satan and his minions on the “Cost of Living”EP! These cretins howl and leave behind a noisy mess that will make you feel very uncomfortable. TIME TO ESCAPE has accomplished their mission! The fans are extremely uncomfortable now! The five songs on “The Cost of Living” EP all clock in at under two minutes. It does not require a long ballad for TIME TO ESCAPE to make its point!

***

Hey skinheads! Listen up! A welcome reissue from TKO Records is on the street this month -- a CD reprising the Clockwork Orange Horror Show EP originally put out as a double seven inch by Vulture Rock Records in 1995. Holy crap! This fucking material has stood the test of time! … Song two is “You Better Beware” with a chorus that cautions the young skinheads as they venture out. Song three drops the mother fuckin’ bomb on you punks and skins! “War On The Streets” is still a staple at TEMPLARS shows today -- this song ranks up there in the pantheon of TEMPLARS songs that light the short fuse in the crowd -- the kids go fucking crazy! Go to a TEMPLARS show to see for yourself. Every single punk and skin will rush to the lip of the stage and sing every word with the fist in the air! Now that’s great entertainment! … Song five is “Teenage Warning” -- a cover song selected from the work of one of the flag bearers of anti-fascist skinhead music, THE ANGELIC UPSTARTS. This version is extremely powerful and draws a political line in the sand early in the TEMPLARS career. There can be no doubt where the TEMPLARS stand on racist/Nazi skins. These individuals will simply not be tolerated.

***

Hohnie Records from German has a fucking great EP out for you fucks right now! This Finnish punk band features male and female vocals and this little tramp blisters the planet!

***

Hey punk! Pay attention! Those evil fucks with the unrepentant metal guitars, THE HOOKERS, are coming blasting into your house to destroy the tranquility!

***

Go see HELLSHOCK when they come to your town! You will be reduced to quivering protoplasm.

***

SKITKIDS from Sweden have a fucking skull-crushing new EP available for you punks! This raging hardcore 7” is entitled Valkomna Till Paradiset and the moment the needle touches down on the wax, you will be up thrashing your boots off with your fist in the air. Great shit!

***

Holy fuck! LOGIC PROBLEM from Carolina has a seven-inch out that will demolish your little pea-brain! Daniel (ex-CROSSLAWS) and his top quality Sorry State Records label have brewed up four songs that damn near tear your ears off! LOGIC PROBLEM comes to destroy everything in their path! …. This is an unbelievably powerful hardcore hammer! The beating continues with the final song, a furious thrash exercise called “Mk Ultra”! Whew! You have now been thoroughly clobbered by one of the most vicious punk bands currently performing!

***

Fucking look out you D-beat punks! The La Vida Es Un Mus label has a crushing new 7” for you! The ANGER BURNING “Warcharge” EP has the blistering DISCHARGE chaos that you need This EP storms the gates with the first song, “War Never Changes.” Fucking brutal! Song two on side A is called “Destruction Never Ends” and this song continues the relentless D-beat assault. ANGER BURNING sings: “Soldiers crawling and dying of toxic gas, all made up by human hands…” Those are fucking rough lyrics!

***

It is just as Mr. Al Quint predicted! Painkiller Records will destroy your safe suburban nightmare! The new moral threat from Painkiller is the band WASTE MANAGEMENT from Brighton, Massachusetts and the immediate environs. These straight-edge fucks are so filled with hate! It’s as if a beautiful black blossom of animosity was unfolding right before your eyes. The extremely negative attitude of WASTE MANAGEMENT is quite refreshing! The kernels of wisdoms just keep spewing from these 24 year old men. Check out “On Dead Weight.” “Talking shit is what you’re about… Don’t like it? Get fucked! There’s the door - you’re out!” Fuck yes!! On “Bad Medicine” WASTE MANAGEMENT don’t mince words: “Smoke it, drink it -- Escape from reality/ Medicate - Hide from your life / Medicate - Cover it up/ Medicate - mind destruction.” Yes! Do you fucks get it?

***

That’ll give you the fucking creeps! On this new SOCIAL CIRKLE EP the vocals soar and the guitars boil over the lip. This shit will make you behave badly. The infectious music spouts off like well-crafted journeyman punk. You soon realize that these men are seriously disturbed. The words give it away. The anguished vocals confirm your suspicions -- These are troubled individuals. You can adhere to the wisdom of Mr. Michel Bastarache: If the band is not right in the head… you will receive top-quality punk rock!

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Fuck you hippie punks! BRAIN KILLER from Allston, Mass. Has unleashed a devastating demonstration cassette on you hapless fucks! … All rules were dismissed when this violent purge was harnessed!

***

A full-scale brain attack! The music on this demon is a chunk of black-hearted punk -- the music builds up in a crazed sort of furor. Fuck!! This band will grab you by the throat and throttle your ass! The next fistful of venomous songs will disturb you safety punks!

***

This shit will make you uncomfortable immediately!

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Song number nine is a heart-broken song of disappointed love called “Rat’s Ass.” It would appear that the male protagonist got kicked to the curb in this relationship!

***

Look out fuckface! Sick Thought Reocrds presents HERE COMES TROUBLE with their new Get Fucked EP! This shit is so raw, so fucking primitive, you might have a dangerous negative reaction! This is dirty punk for bad people with absolutely no redeeming social value! The Get Fucked EP starts off loud and boisterous with “Left At The Right.” Fucking A! This trashed-out, shouted hardcore will burn the hairs off your earlobes! When you hit song two, “The Kids Are All White,” you realize you are in deep shit! This is unhealthy guitar blasphemy sandwiched between unsavory vocals that will make you uncomfortable! You are well aware of Sick Thought Records ability to cause nausea and this EP continues the infection! The DANNY GLOVER EP demonstrated how low Sick Thought Records could stoop! We are speaking of the lowest common denominator known to mankind! Fucking balls-out rock’n’roll with a capital R!!! Song three is “Fuck You… I Have Enough Friends!” Do I need to explain the sentiment of this song to you dimwits? … The guitars boil and the vocals drag you down into the doldrums! This music is an unpleasant reality check for you suburban pop punks! There are no reassuring positive parts on this slab! … Rarely has a band cranked out so much rank pessimism on such a short EP! HERE COMES TROUBLE commands the superior skill to make the listeners unhappy! This is a fucking great record from a label that is determined to undermine any false optimism that American youth might still have. Get this EP or suffer the consequences!


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I may never see Bruce at the bar, but I'll remember him whenever I listen to any Oi! that pummels me into an uncomfortable mass of protoplasm or makes me want to behave badly. And it'll be a long time before I stop looking for him when I open an issue of MMR.

Quality Shit I've Heard So Far This Year... or "So Far, So Good: 2010 in Music, 1st Quarter"

As this year progresses, I find that there've already been some pretty good musick releases in 2010. After spending a good bit of time determining my Best Music of 2009 list thru that November, I worried that perhaps last year's bumper crop of kick-ass would be followed up by a dryspell. And I was - thankfully - wrong about that! Since most of my life is spent working in my underground lair or driving, I get lots of unbroken listening time without too many distractions. Some stuff you like might be missing... I might not've gotten to it yet, so lemme know what else is rockin' the One-Zero... here's what's tickled my ears so far:

POST-ROCK / ELECTRONICA:

The Album Leaf - A Chorus of Storytellers
The American Dollar - Atlas
Fourtet - There Is Love in You
To Rococo Rot - Speculation
Bonobo - Black Sands
...I'd recommend any of these to my post-rock + electronica listenin' friends, who are prob'ly already aware of each of em, as all of these artists have been releasing records for years... I'm most fond of the new ones from The American Dollar + The Album Leaf. Still top-notch for fans of the earlier werks, but with enough maturation in sound + scope (+ production) to remain compelling. Excellent music for late-night open highway driving...
Download the "Second Sight" MP3, a freebie offa The American Dollar's Atlas!





...and the HEAVIER STUFF:

Red Sparowes - The Fear Is Excruciating, But Therein Lies the Answer
    Consistently impressive with their ability to craft powerful tracks that develop in intensity + depth, offering up beautiful soundscapes built on the fundamental vocabulary of (post) metal (+ pedal steel) + the scope of a concept album or filmscore.

Mugstar - Sun, Broken...
White Hills - White Hills
    Wow. I'd only found these bands when Trensmat released the Sonic Attack series of split 7" singles of current bands doing Hawkwind covers (late last year). Stony-as-hell space rock at its best, vocals that don't overpower the musicks... little sonic bombs 'splodin' behind my eyes.
Check out the new Mugstar at Discogs!
Preview the new White Hills at the ThrillJockey website!


Still on the fence about these last few, though; you oughtta give em a listen anyway + then make a case for / ag'in em here...
The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis (I like this one, but it doesn't seem to be a development forward in the growth of the band's sound, just more of the same.)
Dead Meadow - Three Kings (it's so no-frills that the songs either cut to the bone or fall flattr than my jokes)
High Places - High Places vs. Mankind (I sure do like the drums / percussion on this'un, though... + the lovely album cover)
Errors - Come Down with Me

So, now you've got a few new rekkids to listen to while you do whatever else there is to do besides listen to musick...